10 Ways You Might be Giving Your Power Away

Over the past couple of years I’ve been forced to face my fears, each time it came down to how I was giving my power away and not standing confident in my own skin. Many of us do things that drain us of our life force; we give our power away without even realizing we’re doing it.

1. Being a martyr

The martyr is the one who sees themselves as the saviour, the only one who steps in when no one else seems to care, sacrificing themselves for someone in need.

Some of you might think it’s not only good but admirable to give up your own life for the sake of another…it’s not. You aren’t going to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped and you definitely aren’t going to help someone by weakening yourself. It doesn’t mean you walk away from someone who’s in distress and needs help, but at some point enough is enough.

I find that people who do this put themselves in a situation that mirrors a past conflict or personal pain. The belief behind it being this time they can make it right and it will exonerate them from their own pain, like a karmic debt however it never works out that way. Worry about yourself and let others walk their chosen path…. sometimes people need to come to things on their own time, in their own way and it’s important to discern when not to interfere.

2. Feeling guilty

Guilt is one of the most draining, disempowering emotion there is, it has its purposes but most often it’s used a tool of manipulation. If someone is trying to make you feel guilty about something you enjoy, don’t listen to them! They have no right to tell you how to live your life, everyone has their own idea about what they consider good or bad but it comes down to what’s right for you. As long as you aren’t hurting yourself or another person and it makes you happy then have at it, let others mind their own business.

How I handle these people is to smile and nod and say “thank you I will take that into consideration” and change the subject. The exception to this is if several people are confronting you about a situation, perhaps you should listen.

3. Obsessing over someone’s bad behavior

Some people are assholes…period. In fact, some people get off on making other people miserable, and they aren’t going to change. Constantly complaining about their bad behavior, talking about it with anyone who will listen and feeling victimized by them is like bowing down at their feet and calling them master.

Ignore them, don’t engage…no matter how tempting it is, don’t engage! Ignore them completely and they’ll move on.

4. Believing someone else has the power to make you feel whole/sane/worthy/happy/alive

There is no man or woman who can save you from yourself.

There isn’t anyone you can’t live without.

There isn’t anyone who completes you.

You don’t need anyone to stand on your own two feet and feel strong.

Sometimes someone comes along who sweep us off our feet, we feel energized and like the sun rises and sets just for the two of us. There’s nothing wrong with passion as long as it’s kept in check. Don’t let someone else take over your heart and mind no matter how intoxicating….you can enjoy your own company; you don’t need someone else to feel alive.

The other way we give our power away is by giving someone else all of the credit for our own personal achievements. Catch yourself when you say things like “I couldn’t have done it without them”… yes you could have. Be grateful for the support however take credit for your own accomplishments!

5. Feeling sorry for yourself or someone else

Pity is disempowering; you don’t help anyone by giving them your pity. Give love, give encouragement, give support and compassion but not pity. To pity someone is like taking a vacuum hose and sucking the life right out of them. The same goes for yourself, feeling sorry for yourself does nothing other than keep you stuck, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t grieve or feel hurt it means stop feeling like a victim and get proactive.

6. Allowing others to make decisions and/or speak for you

Whether it’s low self-esteem, laziness, not enough time or energy it’s not an excuse for allowing others to run your life. You have it within you to make a good decision, you can do the research, you can use your own intuition, you don’t need someone else to make all of your decisions….stand up for yourself, speak up, don’t let others dominate you.

If you continue to allow others to run your life, ask yourself; do you enjoy living as a slave?

7. Believing everything is love and light, kittens and rainbows

This is disempowering  because denying an essential part of your being is to live in fear of your own nature…. we all have a dark side- we all get angry, we all can be pushed to violent reactions and we all have thoughts that we wouldn’t want anyone to know about…it’s called being human. Life is both dark and light, if you don’t embrace and accept your dark side and the dark side of life you become weak and a victim.

The lion eats the baby gazelle and the mother grieves, but if the lion didn’t eat the gazelle her cubs would starve…that’s just life.

8. Being a doormat

It’s not selfish to say no, you have a right to live your own life and do your own thing. There is no good reason to constantly do what other people tell you to do without question. You’re not being cruel by refusing to put yourself out for someone else. Don’t allow others to walk all over you.

You know what a doormat is for? Cleaning the dirt off the bottom of shoes, don’t let other people wipe their shit on you.

9. Worship

There is not a single person on this planet deserving of your worship. To worship someone is to believe they are better than you, they have something you don’t have, they have something you’re lacking…there  is no guru, priest, rabbi, celebrity, motivational speaker, man woman or child you should ever bow down to or look up to. Nobody knows the secrets of the universe, nobody has all of the answers, nobody is better than you and to worship another is lowering yourself to a subordinate level.

There’s nothing wrong with loving someone’s work and being inspired by them…just know they aren’t greater than you. We each have our own unique gifts and each of us adds something special to this world.

10. Taking the easy way out

It’s easier to follow status quo and do what’s expected, or what’s the least challenging but it deadens your soul. You’re here to fulfill a mission and it’s your mission alone.

How many times have you found yourself giving too much energy to something that’s insignificant? Shying away from our fears is giving our power away because strength comes from overcoming challenges and obstacles. Strength comes from facing our fears head on until we are no longer afraid.

Recognize where you might be giving your power away and take steps to change. The result will be feeling your inner fire and walking tall and strong on your own path.